NAB comments by "Sephen"
lori
loripetty
"Sephen" was a troll account I used on george's not-a-billboard. The character started off as some american ex-con but somehow evolved into a hardline communist Russian.

5/5/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/151109.html

Thank you for updating your billboard sir - I am very happy to have another chance to get the 2009 calendar and hey this is a good excuse for me to order that signed copy of TUF VOYAGING I've been promising myself I'd get! I just got paid for this construction contract I'm on so now I can afford it!

5/7/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/151442.html

Post 1
Re: 3 quick things
I agree with Hippo, I thought he was talking about FORT FREAK (or at least I hope he is!) I love how Mr. Martin drops these little hints, hee hee. Hey, maybe when A DANCE WITH DRAGONS is finished we'll see a post that says "King Kong has fallen off the skyscraper!" :)

Post 2
Re: You need a vacation!
I agree! From what I've seen here on the billboard, Mr. Martin is always working on something. Between the HBO script, FORT FREAK, and the other anthology (star-crossed lovers? something like that), he's accomplished more than me this year! (Although I dunno if you can call being in jail an accomplishment, heh.) After FORT FREAK is done with the editing process it'd be nice if Mr. Martin gets a good, long break - he has earned it!

5/10/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/153015.html

Tamzin Merchant
Mr. Martin, I too find Tamzin Merchant very attractive in THE TUDORS. I thought I was the only one! I'm like, "I know the character she's playing is a teenager,and it's wrong for me to be attracted because I'm twice her age, but here I am!" Of course, that attitude has gotten me into trouble before, but still, hey, it's just a TV show! Looking forward to Merchant in the HBO series (assuming she's still on, I don't know what the word is on that).

That woman who played Anne Boleyn was amazing too, and I'd imagine that isn't an easy role.
5/20/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/153810.html

I have missed the billboard, sir, and I'm glad to see you're back and all is well! Definitely good to see you have your priorities straight - although I know that mere knowledge of what's important doesn't make it go away. If only there were more hours in the day to where you could work on your list there AND have some time to relax! Here's hoping that your next con is a bit less stressful! :)

My son gave me back my copy of SUICIDE KINGS this week and said it was great, and like me, he's looking forward to FORT FREAK. (His mother, though, is not as enthusiastic...ah, but that's a conversation for another time!)

5/24/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/154562.html

Post 1
I agree with the poster above that said we've all been there! I myself am self-published with a book I wrote in jail titled HARPOONS OF FURY, a novel about a grizzled, shark-hunting sea captain and his loyal-to-the-point-of-sycophantic crew. The tension comes as the crew's patience is tested by the captain's postponement of the next shark-hunting expedition. Needless to say, the crew is upset, but they linger on knowing that the biggest fish of them all is, eventually, their next target...but I won't give away the climax! :)

Anyway, despite a nice premise, the book never really took off (although my second ex-wife enjoyed it), and I was sitting in a lot of empty book signings just like Mr. Hall! I feel his pain!

Post 2 (thread)
HARPOONS OF FURY
Haha! He literally jumped ONTO a shark in the final chapter, although I have to say, I hadn't thought of that pun!

The main conflict of the story is that he's become far too distracted with other hobbies to do such things as "jumping sharks" (hehe). Instead of hunting he opts to sell cheap catches nobody is really interested in. (And oddly enough, he even sells non-fish related items too, suggesting that he might not even be interested in fishing anymore). The crew - in a rather heart-warming manner - reminds him why he got into the fishing game in the first place, and he resumes doing what his crew loves to see him doing. (And, deep down, it's what he wants to do, too.)

But, plenty of shark jumping once he focuses back on hunting. :)

5/24/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/154664.html

Fort FREAK!
MR. MARTIN THAT IS GREAT NEWS!!!! Looking forward to when I can buy a limited edition of this - will Sub. Press be doing one???

Can't wait to read Ty's contribution either since I'm unaware of anything else he has written.

These must be a lot of fun to edit, since you get to witness other people's writing rather than having to produce the entire work single-handedly (like that other series you have going on). I certainly have a lot of fun reading them! :)

I am faithful in your ability to pin down "Kong!" I assume that Kong = A DRAGON'S DANCE or whatever the name of the book you're writing is (sorry, I don't keep up with the A Song of Ice and Fire series, but based on the superb quality of your other work I just might have to!)

Good luck Mr. Martin and know that you have my support! :)

6/4/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/155069.html

Mr. Martin, I am so glad you took a few extra days off so you could drive to the convention instead of flying! After proofreading FORT FREAK you deserve a nice break. And I do hope you tell us about ConQuest here on your billboard!

I am really upset with TSA as well because they always used to make my ex-wife buy herself two tickets on flights! The indignity of spending 10 minutes in security removing my shoes is simply not worth flying versus driving!

6/4/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/145872.html

Dearest Mr. Martin,

I ordered three pack variant busts one month ago but have not received any communications about my package. Money was debited out of my account of course quite promptly however! (nearly 175€ too!) "Service" link on website is broken and there is no method on site for to contact the seller.

I know that you do not run Valyrian Resin, but since your billboard hosts advertisement, you're the only person I know who can get for me this answer!

I apologize that my English is not very good.

Sincerely,

Misha
sephmerritt@gmail.com

7/2/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/160489.html?thread=10448873#t10448873

You slay me, sir!

Sophie Turner (the correct one) will be excellent!

7/13/2010 (Comment was removed from GRRM's site!)
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/161485.html

"(And if the show lasts till season four, he may even get a sex scene!)"

I haven't read the books beyond A GAME FOR THRONES - does Samwell survive until A FEAST OF CROW? And he has sex? After reading the first book I had him pegged for being the only person in the series who DOESN'T have sex (especially because he's in the Night Watch)! =)

Now I shall have to hasten my book reading to see these plot details you have revealed Mr. Martin! :)

7/14/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/162442.html?thread=10510474#t10510474
The joke I thought was quite funny! It is nice that Mr. Martin sees his responsibilities in humor sometimes. because you cannot be serious all the time!

Many times I am wondering why so many are worried about A DANCE OF DRAGONS when Mr. Martin has many of fine publications coming out with frequency.

7/14/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/162442.html

MR. MARTIN that's great that HARD CALLS is coming out! Of authors, Daniel Abraham is one of my favorites!

I am wondering why you are saying the wait was long, the WILD CARDS comic series came out timely I thought.

7/21/2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/165455.html

One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;

And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter

Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,

Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place

For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. (Wallace Stevens)

July 23, 2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/166318.html

If you are selling the RPG book for as little as last time I think this time I will have to take advantage of this offer! Really I think you could sell them for 300 USD and still have demand because they are so rare!

July 24, 2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/167246.html

This news is a joy Mr. Martin! I believe with this series I am most excited to see it, as it is some of your earlier writing. If I was given opportunity to redo a series that did not do so well originally I would jump at the chance and pour all of my energy into it! I wish you best luck and hope the project fulfills you.

Probably this will be a good side project for you as well Mr. Martin that will give you much-needed breaks from working on THE DRAGON'S DANCE.
 
July 25, 2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/167661.html

Mr. Martin you are too judging of yourself! Personally I am thinking you should have gone to Comicon to unwind and help focus on projects. You should not have to work like normal person because what you do is different. It relies on creativity. A step back sometimes is needed to go forward! :)

August 1, 2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/170651.html
We are cheering you Mr. Martin! Myself I am looking forward to Wilma chapters :)

August 14, 2010
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/173935.html
Awesome news Mr. Martin! After reading most excellent WILD CARDS comic series I am thrilled to read Fevre Dream. This project has received the most anticipation from me this year, I am happy to see that it is in stores now :)

August 31, 2010
COMMENT WAS SCREENED AND NEVER MADE IT =((((
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/176029.html
Mr. Martin I was worried about commitments and I had feeble excuses but reading your post I decided after that I should ask my job if I have time off to go to worldcon! The manager said no but I remembered your post about just doing it and decided to quit so I could go to Worldcon!

Of commitments, Im remembering Mr. Gaiman said similar...if you want to paint your house, paint! This is of course preferable to worrying about contracts and professions responsibility.

My cousin Evgeny luckily works at Russian consulate in Australia so maybe I am staying with him!
 
February 2, 2011 (we're BACK!)
In response to: grrm.livejournal.com/194025.html
Logo of WILD CARDS is at front and I think immediately that is another WILD CARDS comic, so I get excited! Comic of A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE is good too and I am reading this when it arrives!

Books of Ice and Fire I am still reading. Cousin Evgeny reads while I do and we are almost finishing Clashes with Kings. Of WILD CARDS we are great fans but we enjoy this other work too. Maybe we read comic of westeros when it is released!

February 7, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/194551.html
Thrilling Picture Mr. Martin! TV series is exciting and Sansa Stark girl is beautiful and realistic like book.

Northern Inuit dog is good dog but I am wondering why not use Sulimov? Is patriotic dog of Russian airport security and is like wild beast of Westeros since is part jackal. Is smaller dog but appearance is more like mad dog of Siberian forest!

February 7, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/194025.html?thread=11923945#t11923945
You are right perhaps! Mutations of Chernobyl and surrounding area are like WILD CARDS background. I was young child when disaster happens but in fact I think of it vaguely when I first read series.

Recently I actually watch video of Chernobyl and Pripyat after disaster. Conscript wears surgical mask and no more. I wonder what happens to people. Was sad day for Soviet Union but also opportunity to learn.

I am from Russia more specifically near St. Petersburg.

February 7, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/194800.html
I do not get channel Sky but I will get DVD box set certainly! Many glowing words from actors, is like LORD OF RINGS but serial (because LOTR actor say many of good things about film while producing)! (also director Jackson has beard of George Martin, is similar no?)

I am wondering if season does well maybe WILD CARDS series of television is possible? Or DOORWAY (of comics I am interested released soon). If J.J.Abrams has many TV show maybe George Martin have just as many! Maybe WESTEROS series gateways to other projects! ))))

February 10, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/195326.html
New anthology is phenomenal news ser!!!! This is big year publishing for you, yes? FORT FREAKS and then new book you announce DOWN THOSE STRANGE STREETS. First I think FORT FREAK is most exciting but then I see this!

Is especcially nice to see more work from WILD CARDS authors. I notice Carrie Vaughn and Melinda Snodgrass of series. Of Carrie Vaughn I am great fan since sister Mila lends to me KITTY novels.

I am wondering if you considered anthology of TUF VOYAGING wrote by other authors. Universe is rich for writing more I think.
 
February 11, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/195538.html
Miniatures are glorious! I have purchased many of dark sword miniatures in past. Miniature are strong family tradition in fact. Father was in glorious Soviet Union army years and years ago and made for me soap miniatures. I painted for him and send them back. I send him great red dragon of HOBBIT, and Shea Omsford in green cloak of SWORDS OF SHANNARA. Father came back from great patriotic duty and still had miniature and this is displayed in living room of parent home now.

Now I add Martin minature of FIRE AND ICE songs to shelf with them! But no WILD CARDS miniature for sale anywhere :< I try carving Jet Boy but I am thinking I am not as good as father.

February 15, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/196052.html

Surely you are talking about DANCES WITH DRAGONS. Is great news you are making progress!

Your post is reminding me of time I go hunting with Cousin Evgeny. Vacation to small town outside Novosibirsk yields many of opportunity for hunting in vast Russian forests. (Evgeny is very eccentric, he is wearing vest of bear pelt and belt full of ammunition...crazy cousins I have, all of them!) We were tracking wolf in snow, should be easy because of paw print, yes? But we track very deep in woods and get very lost very quick! But then we hear explosion and see smoke in tree line. Wolf has gotten clumsy and hit land mine from previous war! Was very scary!

I am telling you story because wolf saved lives. Evgeny and I turn around quickly and careful and make for village and vehicle to go home after seeing tragic wolf accident. I think of your novels Mr. Martin because wolf plays protective role.

Anyways I am for encouraging your mythical creature hunting. Perhaps if GRRM signing comes to Eastern Europe I can tell you more cheerful story and buy for you lunch of pizza, yes? (Russia and former Soviet Union have great patriotic tradition of pizza. Do not let outsiders tell you otherwise!)

February 25, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/197075.html
Twitter/facebook pages are good news Mr. Martin! Is very nice of Ran using her time in helping ICE AND FIRE SONGS updates.

Is very interesting mood too, "quixotic." Reminds me of time I come to United States to see ballet of DON QUIXOTE. Great Russian master Mikhail Baryshnikov performs play and it was very exciting! Sister Mila came with me to see ballet and I think she falls in love with Mikhail! After play she runs up to him and tries to grab onto piece of costume. I think she has something to drink beforehand, yes? Ha ha ha!

She was also enjoying capitalist luxuries of the New York while we were visiting. She buys many pairs of shoe, and I ask her why she needs more than one pair! Great craftsmanship of Petersburg shoes should be enough! :)

I am sorry for long story. I remember hearing you are of New York and it brings back memory of trip. I am wondering if you, too, have ever seen the great master Baryshnikov at work?

On a similar notion, perhaps WILD CARDS comes to ballet sometime? Would it not be grand and funny? Would be interesting to be seeing Dr. Tachyon and The Great and Powerful Turtle on stage!

OMFG he got a response from none other than Parris:
parrismcb
Feb. 26th, 2011 01:21 am (UTC)
Jet Boy: The Musical?
JB could have a farewell Soliloquy that could rival Billy's in Carnival.

couldn't be any worse than the 'jukebox' shows that seem to have a large niche in live theatre in NYC and London. (Those are cities I have any knowledge of live theatre, let alone musicals).

Hey kids! Anybody got an old barn and a beat-up piano?
April 19, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/211736.html

YES YES YES!
YES MR. MARTIN THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!

I am wondering if show is edited for other countries. I watch show on Russian state channel and many things I find are edited. Instead of dire wolf, mascot is black bear, and instead of hand of king it is "fist of the people!!" (Yes, they are even using two exclamation mark!) Also Eddard says to Jaime "I do not fight in tournaments, because I spend time instead fighting for proletariat rights!" Of course I am glad of patriotic edits but I was hoping for version to be true to book, da?

April 28, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/212603.html

Mr. Martin I am afraid I am not understanding your post. First I think book is done because you have referred to Kong as writing project of yours in the past.

But then I remember post titled "Good day with snow" and I think, wait, he said in post following that "When I finish DANCE, you'll know it. I will write something like this: "I have finished A DANCE WITH DRAGONS." You won't need to parse any hints." from http://grrm.livejournal.com/130504.html

I am very large fan of WILD CARDS and more recently GAME OF THRONES TV show. If you please, clarify post and tell fans if you have finished!

August 2, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/230295.html

It is shame you cannot do Eastern Europe/Russian tour of book. Maybe this is possible for LOWBALL? I can host you at Grand Hotel Europe in St. Petersburg and I will even take you for tour of pizzas across city. As stated in previous post, Russia has proud patriotic tradition of pizza (foldable of course Mr. Martin! Is not fake pizza of lasagna like Chicago!)

August 4, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/230827.html

FIRST OF ALL I APOLOGIZE FOR CAPITAL LETTERS. CAT OF MINE SISTER MILA DESTROYS KEY OF CAPS LOCK AND I AM FORCED TYPING IN BIG LETTERS.

POLISH IS NOT SO GOOD - I ONLY VISIT BRIEFLY FOR HUNTING TRIP WITH COUSIN EVGENY - BUT IS INTERESTING COMMENT ABOUT LAST NAME OF CHARACTERS...SIMPLE NAME IS LIKE FIRST MEN AND FLOWERY NAME IS OF IMMIGRANT. THIS IS REMINDING ME OF MOTHERLAND.....HERE WE ARE ADDING "A" TO LAST NAME IF WOMAN AND NO "A" IF MAN. IS SIMPLE. OTHER COUNTRY (LIKE FRANCE) ADD EXTRA THINGS TO NAME. MUCH LIKE ADD EXTRA UNNECESSARY PART TO VEHICLE TO MAKE MORE EXPENSIVE, DA?

AGAIN APOLOGIES FOR CAPITAL LETTERS LOCK AND THANK YOU FOR INTERVIEW.

September 12, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/237373.html#comments
(I guess George didn't like this one very much, it was screened and never made it)

This is great news! I watch American Football last night with dish of satellite and very much enjoy New York Jets victory. I am thinking Tony Romo has failed lobotomy in off-season? Or maybe he is just lackadaisacal screwup always.

American game of Football I do not watch often but I enjoy. It reminds me of game cousin Evgeny and I create using grenade and rabid badger. Is not very high scoring affair I tell you this much!

I am sorry New York Football Giants lose...maybe they should augment bodies with experiment like WILD CARDS no? Is this against rules of America? ))))))

September 12, 2011
In response to: http://grrm.livejournal.com/237373.html?thread=14653757#t14653757

Daniel Snyder is typical capitalist. Team does not play well? Spend entire salary cap on aging crippled quarterback who have one season of good statistics twenty years ago. And make fans get credit card of high interest rate to buy tickets and buy expensive mattress of capitalist excess (I refer to Six Flags park).

I give you advice - hire Russian manager for team! to have teammates running offensive plays of efficiency and strong defense like bear of siberian waste. Strong communist running back is gaining three yards each ball carry, no more no less thanks to efficient comrades blocking. success is for entire team, not for prima donna washed up cornerback of Deion Sanders or Jeff George.

I can't remember the date, but this entry below never made it to the comments section, and Sephen was permabanned from the billboard:

Mr. Martin, truly it is wonderful you are offering excellent nominations for award of HUGO. Sadly I cannot vote because I have not attended convention recently, but I am happy such an award exists in which friends can nominate other friends who are then voted by peers.

This Hugo system of casual award among friends reminds me of baking contest I entered with cousin Evgeny, at function of Church. All parishioners were given task of creating baked good of history. I choose to create french crepe a la Catherine the Great because she was tsaritsa who had affection for France. Is very opulent and uses expensive filling! Evgeny chooses to craft bear claw of GULag archipelago. Is soulless, deceitful food much like Alexander Solzhenitsyn's books.

Anyway sister Mila ends up winning prize of grocery store giftcard mainly because she has many friends who attend function. Award is based on vote from peers which means person with most votes from friend wins prize. It is okay however. Mila's cake of original building of Kremlin is very tasty and has delicious filling of strawberry. Is guilty pleasure I know, but I enjoy it very much.

A Dance With Dragons sephen review
lori
loripetty
Comrade "Lori Petty" invites me to generate user account and post review
of latest SONG OF ICE FIRE book!! Long time I am fan of WILD CARDS
books written of George RR Martin, so I purchase GAME OF THRONES and
find myself enjoying great expansive series. In Russia we are great fans
of books and comics of WILD CARDS but not very much ICE AND FIRE SONGS
series. Overall this book is good but inferior to tightness and
excitement of WILD CARDS.

1) DANCE OF DRAGONS is typical of capitalist ideology more is better. Mr. Martin says on http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainmen ... ns/241738/
that gratuitous is fine, is no concern, detail is primary. However too
much and not interesting makes bad novel. I give example - sister Mila
purchases sixteen pairs of Italian shoe of high price on trip to New
York. I purchase none because I have efficient boot of previous
Kazakhstan prison guard job. Who makes most effective choice? Who cares
about this? Nobody cares in similar fashion nobody cares about rant of
Mr. Martin of turtles during Tyrion chapter. Detail is gratuitous when
detail is about fouled sewage from nether regions of Dany. Detail is
gratuitous when entire chapter is feast from previous chapters and
books.

2) Little girl Dany is fucking fool in this novel.
where she was great brilliant tactician in SWORD STORMS. Dragon girl
sack three cities then post heads on wall of Meereen, and she forgets
all this in DANCE OF DRAGONS? Son of Harpy is attacking citizens but
Dany only take hostages? And nothing happens? In Russia we have simple
solution. (1) Send KGB knock down door of criminal. (2) Load criminals
on cargo train like firewood. (3) Unload criminals in Siberian labor
camp. (4) Force criminal to mines and produce pewter miniatures of
patriotic Russian heroes like Czar Alexander II and Leo Tolstoy. Maybe
Dany sends slavers to work in fields of Sheep and risk burning from
dragons (like little girl at beginning of novel)? Or maybe she does not
do this. Maybe she acts as fool and sits in pyramid of slave labor and
collect trinkets like rich Nazi.
Also Dany is found by Mongolian
barbarians again at end of novel which is like going in circle. I say
more in next bulleted point......

3) Mr. Martin is tired of writing new Westeros story so he is writing same Westeros story over again.Many
people are on many boats in novel. Mr. Martin wants novel to be rich
with detaill but is rich with repetition? Because boat of Samwise Tarly
from FEASTS OF CROWS is about fouled sewage and nausea, and Tyrion
chapter is same fucking thing again. Is so much urine in novel I wonder
why novel is not damp upon purchase at customs store no? I give example
of excess detail from life. Cousin Evgeny shows me boat one time he buys
with capitalist money of diplomat job. He explains sistema of
propulsion, of fuel loading, exhaust, bilge pump, but all I care about
is enjoying ride on boat and firing mounted machine gun on back of boat
at annoying seagull overhead. (Is funny story, I hit one that falls on
sister Mila's head while she water ski behind boat!) In similar fashion
Mr. Martin creates chapters of exposition which are not interesting
details but are boring detail. Victarion is on boat, Tyrion is twice on
boat, Quentin is trying to find boat and is taking land journey, and on
and on. Ramsey has feast and wedding of Westeros style and many foods
are explained but this has happened before in other books! How many
weddings are needed for book series?

North is lost by Stark and
is gained by Ironmen. Is lost by iron men and is gained by Bolton. Is
soon to be lost by Bolton and gained by Stannis? When does story end?
When nobody owns Winterfell and is nuclear fallout area like what
happens to Japanese Empire with Hiroshima?

4) Dwarf Tyrion was brilliant feared man but is like stuffed animal in DRAGON'S DANCE.
Tyrion says many clever things and acts as brilliant as Czar Peter the
Great during wars of expansion. But this is in previous books. In book
now is like circus sideshow. He goes from ownership by fat man then
secret prince then fat man then kind of fat man (actually, is Brown Ben
Plum fat??? is like Plum so is round, da?). Character is not interesting
because character has no power plus does not talk about interesting
things. Tyrion has no dialogue of wit and is instead whining, protecting
dumb dwarf friend (who repeats same thing all novel and keeps trying to
fuck), reminiscing on fake childhood of dragon dreams and gymnastics
(but in previous novel is scared/in awe of dragons instead of wanting to
ride???? and is not gymnast, can barely walk on stunted legs?????).
Tyrion of DANCE OF DRAGONS is like new character. He is like friend who
you think is funny and nice at first but then goes on holiday to France
and returns as rude idiot.

5) Not all is bad and some is great shocking amazing surprise.
Sir Barristan of queensguard is AWESOME and is like KGB super spy when
confronts Hizdar. Quentynn dying of dragon wounds is epic shocking turn
of plot and I enjoy companions Arch and Drink who are brave and exciting
and have cool lines of dialogue. Whore Cersei is great when paraded in
front of crowds and chapter flows smooth like Ob River in Novosibirsk.
Aegon and Connington is now fun (after FUCKING BOAT RIDE) and The
Griffin Reborn chapter of book is nice.

Frustrations with DANCE
OF DRAGONS comes from love of previous amazing masterworks of George
Martin including TUF VOYAGING and WILD CARDS. Is fans fault I say. Too
demanding of a man who wants to write other series and does not want to
write SONG OF ICE AND FIRES series when is no longer interested in
writing! People like Ran and Head of Wert discuss books and pressure
George Martin to create books they want rather than books he want.
Author writes in world he does not like anymore and creates bad book.
Not Mr. Martin's fault!

Fans want to read rest of series. Why? Is bad book of Westeros better than new book of world Mr. Martin enjoys?

Sephen Review of The Name of the Wind
lori
loripetty
I see many people enjoy previous post on DANCES OF
DRAGONS so I think maybe I post review of other popular author, and
talk about NAME OF WIND by author Patrick Rothfuss.

Overall book
is amazing tale! Capitalist pig-dog Ambrose Jakis is great villain and I
feel very bad for Kvothe when he is failing and very good for him when
he has rare success (like achievement of pipe of silver in Eolian
tavern). Is authentic because is believable. Yes it is true Kvothe is
like Soviet super man of propaganda film but he is also emotional and
flawed. Many times I read review that say Kvothe is too unreal and is
lacking flaws but I say he has one big huge flaw. He is too proud. he
does not take help of comrades Wil and Simm. he does not take help of
farmers. Life is shaped by pride and arrogance, many times for worse.

Plot moves so well and so smoothly, like well-oiled machine gun of Great Patriotic War.
Only scenes that drag for me are scenes set in future tavern and some
of university learning scenes. But book flows incredibly well.

Kvothe is perfect dream of masculine communist.
I know what you are thinking, "why are you always making comparison of
views of politics in fantastical book review!" Well I only tell you what
is in book. Kvothe loses all wealth and must live with what is earned.
Yes he earns money by begging but after this he moves on to University
where he learns to make powerful items with tools of metal and acid and
such. It is much like comparison of fearless president Vladimir Putin
and U.S. Barack Obama. Both are sensible leaders...but as I see in
American image, they are putting forth different stereotype. (Now I am
referencing American image I find on Google at http://www.redstate.com/erick/2010/08/2 ... s-our-guy/)
Kvothe is masculine, positive hero. I am enjoying scenes where he is
describing his poverty and how he is making the ends meet. Devi scenes
are excellent. I feel desperation but also triumph when he does simple
things like buy clothes or horse. The fact that minor things become of
importance is credit to Rothfuss for great amazing writing and building
of character.

Fela and Denna are like same person except Kvothe does not give time of day to Fela.
I explain this in more detail because you probably do not understand. I
am reading many scene where Denna appears and Kvothe makes beeline to
her like she is wearing coating of honey. She is very beautiful and is
saying many witty things. OK I understand. But I do not understand why
relationship is more than infatuation! Denna acts as floozy with other
man and does not give Kvothe any reason to be in relationship - she does
not do nice things. Kvothe is doing all the nice things.

One day
sister Mila tells me, "Misha, why are you having no girlfriend?" To
which I respond I am too busy at woodworking job and I am not emotional
as women like...I am tough because of working with tools of wood. Anyway
Mila provides for me phone number of friend Ilsa. I go and meet Ilsa at
local shop of coffee (selling feminine beverages I do not drink...I am
black coffee man only). She is drinking fluffy drink of mostly milk and
whipped cream. She is very very beautiful like she-bear in front of moon
on winter's night. (OK maybe sometimes I am romantic.) We are dating
after this. Then a week afterwards I get phone call from her saying car
is impounded. OK so I go to constabulary to help with getting car out,
thinking maybe I am good gentleman. She asks me to pay impound fee and
bats eyelashes like movie star. OK maybe I loan you the money, I say.
She says I thought you are liking me and maybe helping me when I need
help. Like fucking fool I say ok and pay. Then at next date at firing
range she tells me if I love her I will buy her expensive Italian rifle
and much ammunition. I tell her to jump off nearest most convenient
mountain (or maybe roof of Asylum like Kvothe, da?).

Anyway point
of long-winded story is this is relationship of Kvothe and Denna. Only
reward for his time, money, effort, and rescuing is occasional presence
of Denna (hanging off arm of whatever capitalist boyfriend she currently
dates). Kvothe bends over in backward for Denna. Maybe he bends over
too much and break spine in next book, da?

Maybe if he gives
chance to Fela she proves she is more of woman than Denna, after all she
is nicer (when she is rescued she makes available her time to Kvothe
and even gifts green cloak).

Characters Auri and Elodin are amazing human beings that jump off page.
I am loving scene of "get for me three pinecones" and then push off
roof, and I like Auri who is full of wonder but at same time is clearly
damaged. In fact both characters are very similar. I am disappointed
with homogeneity of characters Wil, Simm...but Auri and Elodin are
characters of unique natures. Elodin is reminding me of Cousin Evgeny.
Trip to asylum reminds me of tour of asylum Evgeny and I take three
years ago. He puts on suit of clown and rides tiny bike through
hallways. Crazy inmates clap and are entertained. Conscript guards not
so much entertained and roughly tackle Evgeny off bicycle (but they miss
several times before they hit!)

Past and future juxtaposition is not so good.
Maybe I focus too much on negative things because they are very minor.
However I am concerned about future scenes in inn. Is clear that Kvothe
is not happy with current life. OK, but seems like member of American
Emo band. Is nothing really funny, clever, or enjoyable in future scenes
I am thinking. But is necessary to storytelling framework I suppose.

Book has no end! NO END!
I come to end of book and think "wow, I am happy I wait to read until
second book is out, otherwise I am waiting fucking years for passage of
single day in book!" I feel that much happens in book but ending is
dissatisfying. Is hard to explain - is like end of season of TV season.
Big cliffhanger is trend of novels lately though. I even read Connie
Willis novel and she says in middle of scene "be sure to buy next book
to see the conclusion!" that is the ending! Right in middle of action
scene! I immediately take Connie Willis off special christmas cookie
mailing list. Is disturbing trend of books these days.

Maybe I
modify and write more later since I have to leave and return to
woodworking but for now, great book, and I look forward to next book in
series.

Sephen Review of The Wise Man's Fear
lori
loripetty
dobryj vyechyer! friends! I am very happy you enjoy previous post so I figure why not I will do this again! Yes! This week I finish WISE MAN FEAR and I am very excited to talk about this on forum of Mr. Martin friends!!

Book beginning is excellent...FEARS OF MEN OF WISDOM starts off as great book, as book starts from previous book ending. I am "enjoying" Ambrose sabotage of Kvothe and developing relationships and characters of Devi, Elodin, and Auri. And Kvothe takes
class of Elodin and we see more of this brilliant "Evgenyesque" character. He is like crazy inbred British monarch doing things for no
reason but at same time he has flash of brilliance and soberity (is this word?) Is kind of like priest at orthodox church in my village outside
St. Petersburg when growing up. Is mostly crazy during sermon yelling about patriotism while drinking flask of holy water and getting drunker and drunker. But even though he is crazy he makes point about togetherness in between hale of gunfire of Kalashnikov into air. In fact maybe crazy insanity adds to importance. I remember to write christmas card to family because of insane priest. Thank you Father Ivanovic.

I like in particular scene of Auri comforting Kvothe. Auri climbs in window and comfort Kvothe after horrible plum incident and bad memory.
She does not ask him but tells to let it all out. Very touching. I AM REMINDED OF COMPLETELY UNRELATED INCIDENT! In which I wake up in middle of night while staying at inn of hunting lodge outside Estonia (I think...maybe is Latvia). Anyway I have VERY bad dream about world overcome by bourgeoisie when I wake up crying and find a comforting arm against my back. I do not remember having girlfriend so I think maybe is joke of hiring hooker by Friend Mikhail. I turn around and see is not woman but is actually she-wolf sleeping soundly by my side. Like any good Russian I take out wooden hunk (that I keep for defense) and beat wolf silly until it leaves. It only bites me little on arm. Is good luck in Russia to get wolf injury, actually.

But afterward, I actually feel OK about nightmare. So yes is kind of like Auri, comforting, not judge. Well maybe. Anyway is touching scene in book and maybe makes my eye water slightly.

...but at page 450, turns to massive, massive piling of fouled sewage. WHY ARE FUCKING BANDITS THERE???? WHY????

Mr. Patrick Rothfuss: "Oh hi I finish book for you my generous capitalist friends. Please take book for greater glory of United States Publishing Industry"
editor: "ummm this is 500 pages too short."
Rothfuss: "Oh maybe I add for you material from third book and cut to two books,so that way people are not fucking mad at me for delay? Then I write new third book of different series?"
editor: "No we need to sell more book, comrade! Add exciting bestseller thing. American author TOM CLANCY writes trash fiction garbage about evil Russian demon eating flesh of America founding fathers. Maybe add similar tripe to your book! Add something like BANDIT!"
Rothfuss: "But the bandit story makes no sense in Kvothe story!"
editor: "I am sorry Patrick but i am getting many phone call from rich swine investor! Do svidaniya! *click*"

And so I think Rothfuss add stupid, STUPID fucking stories about bandits and naked woman and mountain warriors. Kvothe is almost secondary character in these stories which shows how bad plot really is. He brings forth no "REAL" emotions in side story. In Ademre, Kvothe is scared of losing hand. Well, ok, but emotion does not feel as authentic as rest of novel! Rest of novel rings true because of undertone of vengeance and passion. Kvothe emotions are best when passion is related. When he is training Ademre he is not really there except to get friend out of trouble. Yes he wants to learn but I am not getting the feeling he really cares about Adem learning, plus he leaves at end anyway. So he is only there to help friend he just met on previous adventure (which probably was not written in original draft of novel anyway...)

Actually Felurian part is not so bad because Cthaeh is interesting plot line. I think about this throughout rest of novel. How can anything Kvothe is doing be the right doing? Is like paradox. For example, Cousin Evgeny and I go to first Baskins Robbins in Moscow and he goes to counter to place order. Well after getting weird vodka-flavor butter toffee he is paying, right? So he empties content of cargo pocket looking for wallet and puts on counter following items: ATV keys, epinephrine "pen" and last but not at all least commemorative Makarov pistol from Cold War history auction he wins earlier in day! Cashier is panicking and begins empty drawer of cash and give to us. I begin to tell her "no, is antique gun, probably it does not even fire!" But Evgeny interrupts and tells to look at camera and says "well to camera it appears we are stealing so we should steal anyway." Is like paradox...we steal and commit crime, or we do not steal, wait for constable to arrive and get in trouble too.

So we steal ice creams because this looks as stealing anyway. Of course is not my idea...so I send cheque of replacement roubles to American office of Baskin Robbin for amount of theft with letter of story attached. Cheque is never redeemed however, and I get letter in return that says "thank you for fanciful fake story, we are enjoying and here is iced cream gift card for Evgeny!" I am confused. Evgeny is rewarded for thievery by capitalists with little plastic card that is saying "GIFT OF FIVE FREE SUNDAE TO: COUSIN EVGENY." The United States is country very troublesome to me for this reason and many other...

Anyway back on topic of publisher forcing adding more detail, I am surprise Kvothe does not find big evil Russian spider lair and get caught in web while he recite pledge of allegiance! This sells book in U.S., da?

Denna relationship is starting at beginning to be better maybe, but get worse at end, much much worse my friends.
Whore plot twist is like Kvothe thinks "ok I need to be adding more depth to Denna character because she is nothing but appearance. OK I add dirty profession of hers to novel." Actually I understand parallels between Kvothe doing anything for music and learning versus Denna doing anything to survive, but is kind of like slap in the face after everything. And then she gets mad at Kvothe at end of novel for sleeping
with other woman even though she is not in relationship with Kvothe and sleeps around at same time. I know relationship is often confusing - and to be real, it must be like this - but this is confused for wrong reason. "High-class whore" profession seems like too "easy" to write and is grand insult to reader.

I actually find scene from Kvothe adaptation of film, where Ambrose is hiring Denna for sex party with other aristocrat (NOT SAFE FOR LISTEN OR VIEW WHILE AT WORKING):

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa5z77EI8y0[/youtube]

But maybe I am misremembering source of video.

But Denna relationship does make step past previous novel. She does do something nice to Kvothe with lute case. OK, last sentence is sounding wrong. She is gifting him it I mean. They show interest that is not just infatuation and is actually promising...until end, when they get mad and weird and abrupt novel end comes.

Best part of book is of course the writing style and element of emotions.
I feel every triumph and failure of Kvothe. He gets to create siphon of money from Maer Alveron like siphon of gas tank from wealthy co-worker. Rothfuss always make me live through Kvothe which is great feat...but is still annoying that I feel nothing about girlfriend(?) Denna. But school parts are still good and Maer Alveron parts before bandit chasing is nice. Again as I say before, passion and revenge and other strong, strong emotion as background driver for Kvothe is so important to story...I love this writing just for this fact.

Ending is...no ending...nothing. Ending of novel is nowhere. How can I comment on thing that does not exist. Reader is told in first book Kvothe is expelled, this does not happen by second book. Reader is told in second book "war" is started by Kvothe but Kvothe does not start war in novel. (and anyway what is this  war??? no details given on this matter.) What in "Sam Hill" (see, I know American idiom!) is going on with Chandrian, reader knows nothing of anything more than last novel. Novel accomplishes more than A DANCING
OF DRAGONS but is not much more.

Anyway I can think of nothing else to bring forth on this book. FEAR OF WISE MEN gets C+ grading for me, not too bad, is still good enough grade to get to fire mortar in army.

I do read all of forum reaction posts to novel in other thread and I enjoy your viewpoint, I am hoping forum is finding my viewpoint of use. I
am sorry is very long and fill with analogy, I sometime maybe like to tell story and get longwinded when I should be revieiwng purely.

Altered Parris Post
lori
loripetty
http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/48605-adwd-official-release-date-thread-2/page__st__360

folks,

maybe some of the sane, not-paranoid nit-pickers amongst you (goddess knows there aren't many) can convince the other posters here and afar that yes, that photo of Kong lying dead at the foot of the WTC does really mean that we are finished with the manuscript, and that ADWD is done.

Yes, George and I said there would be an announcement on the website. However, our web mistress lives in New Mexico, and we've been a bit busy here in NYC what with meetings, last minute editing work with myself, Anne and George in her office (and please, guys, can we at least muster enough votes to at least get Anne on the ballot next year for "Best Editor - Long Form" Hugo next year at ChiCon? It's the least you can do. Between the excellent work she did with Connie Willis on Blackout/All Clear and the incisive and loving work she's done on the ADWD ms., well, she deserves a nomination at least, although she is not Big Name Editor that people include in their nominations automatically, no matter if that editor's work 'deserves' a nomination that year. We can argue about that particular category some other time when we're feeling SMOFish. I think we deserve a hugo because we worked so hard.). We've been busy. I don't wanna brag, but I was named the wife of one of TIME magazine's most influential people of the year, and we had a big party to go, and many other meetings to do while here in the last 4 days. With many more to come.

George and I figured folks would grok the pix of Kong. (We tried to find a good image from the original, but the only ones we found we about the size of an LJ icon, and didn't size up, just became a mass of pixels). We were getting dressed to go out to Bayonne to belatedly celebrate our marriage with his family, he just wanted to go and be happy, and on a whim, we decided to put up the now infamous Kong post that has some thinking we really didn't mean it, that somehow since we didn't call our web mistress with the news, that George had promised to put it up on his web site (yet had never prepared a statement to be released), yet alone timed it with Patti, we're somehow avoiding telling people 'the truth' about the condition of the ADWD ms.. Nope, we were just being George and Parris Martin, and thought putting up the post would be a great thing, as he put on his clothes and I searched for my comfy shoes (and thank the goddess for those, my dogs were barking after such a long day of work - or really, years) as the car service waited on a way too busy street to get us to Bayonne, and of course I couldn't find my silver triple-moon necklace, and I thought the bell boy stole it (this stupid generation thinks they deserve everything for free), and then we realized the car picking us up didn't have a minibar, which was annoying because I really enjoy a little something after a hard day of work.

Those who think that we finished ADWD months or even years ago and have been waiting until the very-last minute or because of pressure by HBO/Bantam to announce yesterday that ADWD was finished and this has been some clever advertising ploy, well, my opinion is that those people probably also think our President, Barack Obama, was born in Kenya. And if you clowns can't get the picture, what I'm saying is that more than half of you are dumb. That's right, more than half of you.

Really, tell these people to get a grip.

Love,

Parris

p.s.: yeah, there's still plenty of work back home for us to do, yes there's still some niggly bits of copy editing the last 5% or so of the manuscript one it's been typeset, and yes, the pub date is and will be, for the US, July 12, 2011.

But once that is done, I hope we can get some down time, a few vacation days, but look at our schedule already posted on the web site, we're going to Poland and Croatia , er, excuse my mistake, we are going to Slovenia during his June trip. We'll be doing some touring for the release of the book in July. We've got WorldCon in August, and a few vacation days planned with friends and my Godskids around the time of WorldCon, stopping at the Grand Canyon, riding for a while on the old rt. 66 roads, and then there's other events I can't talk about yet that will fill out a lot of the summer and early fall schedule. So maybe we'll get in a 'real' vacation/honeymoon sometime this fall. With snorkeling. Or penguins. Maybe both. It's been a long hard 5 years of watching George do work, and I, for one, would appreciate it if people let us live our lives like normal people and not do counts of how many days George spends watching football, or going to conventions he promised he's go to 3-4 years ago, (which, I continue to remind folks, is part of the business work for George and myself, and the bonus of staying up late with the Bros or having dinner with friends of 40 years standing is the end of a work day for George and myself). How many of those people spend 50-60 hours a week running their own business? Or work for a company that demands that of them? I do more work than all of you, so you have no right to complain.

We're delighted that there is so much enthusiasm for our work. We let the troll and haters comments roll off our backs (well, except the paragraph above), and we don't care that there's web sites dedicated to trashing George and myself, we appreciate and love those who offer us kindness, and could never express our thankfulness to all our readers across the world that love our books, bought extra copies to give to friends, who have made the books, and, gods willing, the HBO series such great successes, and, in the cases of so many, have become our friends along the way.

love, love, love (it's easy!)

Conventions AKA "the time void"
lori
loripetty
OK, so I think a lot of people here agree that George's numerous vacations around the globe every year are a huge time sink. But I've been trying to quantify exactly how much time is lost each year to the conventions and I'm at a loss. Is there a running list of every convention George has attended since AFFC was published? Could we make one? I'm trying to find out which conventions he went to last year but I can't seem to find that info anywhere...

Thanks to Fish for 2002 - 2004, which I didn't have previously...

Here's a running list:

2002

March 7th Williamson Lectureship, Portales - New Mexico
May 27th Interview Rhode Island Science Fiction Club

2003

February 4th 7:30 to 9:00 pm Panel at STAIF (Space Technology and Applications International Forum)
Hyatt Regency Albuquerque
April 25th-27th - SFerakon, Zagreb - Croatia
August 22nd to 24th - Bubonicon, Albuquerque - New Mexico
August 28th-September 1st Guest of Honor at Torcon III, Toronto - Canada

2004

February 13-15, 2004 - Boskone 41, Boston, Massachusetts
July 12-16, 2004 - Instructor at Odyssey Fantasy Writing Workshop
Mont Vernon, New Hampshire
August 6-8, 2004 Guest of Honor at ConVersion, Calgary, Canada
August 27-29, 2004 - Bubonicon 36, Albuquerque, New Mexico
September 2-6, 2004 - Noreascon IV (Worldcon), Boston, Massachusetts
September 17-19, 2004 - Guest of Honor at Foolscap, Seattle, Washington

2005 Conventions: The Beginning of the End
February 18-20, 2005
Boskone 42, Boston, Massachusetts
May 6-8, 2005
Guest of Honor at To Be Continued, Chicago, Illinois
May 27-29, 2005
Toastmaster at Conquest 36, Kansas City,
July 16-17, 2005
Guest of Honor at Conestoga, Tulsa, Oklahoma
August 4-8, 2005
Interaction (Worldcon), Glasgow, UK
November 8-29, 2005
U.S. Book Tour
November 8, 6:00 pm Davis Kidd, Nashville, TN
November 9, 7:00 pm Joseph-Beth, Lexington, KY
November 10, 7:00 pm Books & Co., Dayton, OH
November 11, 7:00 pm Borders, Ann Arbor, MI
November 12, 7:00 pm Barnes & Noble/Carmel, Indianapolis, IN
November 14, 7:00 pm Borders Madison, WI
November 15, 7:00 pm Barnes & Noble/Astor Place, New York City
November 16, 7:00 pm Copperfields, Petaluma, CA
November 17, 12:30 pm
7:00 pm Stacey's, San Francisco, CA
Booksmith, San Francisco, CA
November 18, 12 noon
7:00 pm Kepler's, Menlo Park, CA
Bay Book Co., Half Moon Bay, CA
November 19, 2:00 pm
7:00 pm Barnes & Noble, Huntington Beach, CA
Special Appearance at GenCon SoCal, Anaheim, CA
November 20, 1:00 pm Mysterious Galaxy, San Diego, CA
November 21, 7:00 pm University Bookstore, Seattle, WA
November 22, 7:30 pm Tattered Cover/Lodo, Denver, CO
November 29, 7:00 pm Page One Books, Albuquerque, NM


2006 Conventions
January 9-13, 2006
Canadian Book Tour
January 9, 7:00 pm Toronto, World's Biggest Bookstore, 20 Edward Street
January 10, 7:00 pm Calgary, McNally Robinson Bookseller, 120 8th Avenue Southwest
January 11, 7:00 pm Edmonton, Greenwoods Bookshoppe, 7925-104 Street
January 12, 7:30 pm Victoria, Bolen Books, event offsite at Alix Goolden Theatre, 111-1644 Hillside Avenue
January 13, 7:00 pm Vancouver, Chapters, 788 Robson Street
January 27-29, 2006
Vericon, Cambridge, Massachusetts
February 17-19, 2006
Boskone, Boston, Massachusetts
May 26-28, 2006
Guest of Honor at Marcon, Columbus, Ohio
July 15-18, 2006
Guest of Honor at NECon 26, Bristol, Rhode Island CANCELLED
August 18-20, 2006
Bubonicon 38, Albuquerque, New Mexico
August 23-27, 2006
LA Con IV (Worldcon), Los Angeles, California
October 5-8, 2006
Archon 30, Collinsville, Illinois


2007 Pizza Festivals
July 6-8, 2007
Guest of Honor at InConJunction, Indianapolis, Indiana
July 14, 2007
Guest Speaker at Taos Toolbox, Taos, New Mexico
August 3-5, 2007
Guest of Honor at Trinoc*con, Durham, North Carolina
August 30-September 3, 2007 - Missed this one.
Nippon 2007 (Worldcon), Yokohama, Japan
November 1-4, 2007
World Fantasy Convention, Saratoga, NY

2008 Parties/Galas
February 2, 2008
2:00 pm INSIDE STRAIGHT launch party and signing
Page One Books, Albuquerque, New Mexico
March 29-31, 2008
Guest of Honor at Technicon 25, Blacksburg, Virginia
April 5-7, 2008
Guest of Honor at Odysseycon VIII, Madison, Wisconsin
July 4 - July 13, 2008
Guest at Semana Negra, Gijon, Spain
August 6-10, 2008
Denvention 3 (Worldcon), Denver, Colorado
August 22-24, 2008
Bubonicon 40, Albuquerque, New Mexico
October 30-November 2, 2008
World Fantasy Convention, Calgary, Alberta, Canada

2009 Vacations
July 5 - July 17: Finncon and other Finland locations
August 4 - August 12: Worldcon
October 22 - November 24: Pilot Viewing/International Dining

2010 Sightseeing/Vacations
April 16 - April 20: C2E2 Chicago, terrible pizza dinners every night
May 12 - May 19: LepreCon, "nothing to do but get into" the stuff he needs to catch up on.
May 25 - June 2: ConQuest
July 4 - July 12: ClarionWest or whatever
August 24 - September 1: Australia vacation, pre-Worldcon
September 2-6, 2010: Aussiecon IV (Worldcon), Melbourne, Australia
September 7-24, 2010: Australia vacation part deux! "Miserable trip," he says when he returns.
October 11-17, 2010: Guest of Honor at Octocon, Dublin, Ireland
October 18 - November 10, 2010: Belfast and Malta to watch the HBO team work
November 11-16, 2010: Days of Ice & Fire, Fantasy Flight Games Event Center, Roseville, Minnesota, USA

2011 International Vacations
January ??, 2011: L.A. Trip, including a signing
June 16-19, 2011: Miêdzynarodowy Festiwal Fantastyki (XVIII Festival of Fantasy & Science Fiction), Nidzica, Poland
August 17-21, 2011: Renovation (Worldcon), Reno, Nevada, USA
August 26-28, 2011: Bubonicon 43

A GLIMPSE INTO THE HORRIBLE FUTURE (3)
lori
loripetty
A GLIMPSE INTO A HORRIBLE ALTERNATE DIMENSION...in which George works for the Red Cross

(A major blizzard has hit an impoverished area of Europe, resulting in numerous deaths. The Red Cross is dispatched. George's manager walks in:)

Manager: "George, where's that casualty report? We need to notify the families."
George: "It's not done. What can I say? Believe me, I want this report done more than anyone."
Manager: "Look, I'm not trying to hassle you, but there's a lot of potential orphans and widows that are going to want to know if their families are still alive out there."
George: "It can't be helped. Time is going by too quickly. I should have Kong off my back shortly. Even though he's turned into an elephant."
Manager: "What in god's name are you talking about? Finish the report, now!"
George: "I can't finish. I'm off to my week-long vacation in an hour. Nothing to be done about that."
Manager: "Unbelievable. Get it done in an hour or you're not leaving."

------------

ONE HOUR LATER...

(George sends an e-mail to his manager with the subject line "A good day, with snow," the body "'Nuff said." and a red cross image attached. Manager sends an e-mail back saying, "does this mean the report is done?" George responds in an e-mail:)

"No, no, no. Jeez. Calm down.

This is why I hate to do updates.

I say I have good day, and immediately I have a hundred people deciding this means that the casualty report is finished.

I'm not the oracle at Delphi. Whatever casual comments I make in emails are just that, and should not be subjected to analysis, interpertation, or decoding.

When I finish the report, you'll know it. I will write something like this: "I have finished the casualty report." You won't need to parse any hints.

For the record, I have not finished the casualty estimates. I just had a particularly good day yesterday. I hope to have another one when I get back from my week-long vacation."

Manager: "Yeah, well, don't bother coming back."

A GLIMPSE INTO THE HORRIBLE FUTURE (2)
lori
loripetty
8:00 AM, December 21, 2012 - Nibiru barely misses the Earth, causing only minor earthquakes across the globe. Fuck yeah, Earth!

8:05 AM, December 21, 2012 - A fleet of alien starships attacks Earth. As the International Space Station is not equipped with armaments of any sort, the ships easily enter the atmosphere and war begins.

11:30 AM, December 21, 2012 - Earth surrenders handily. (which would be tragic, if not for the hilarious Benny Hill music the aliens blared during the struggle) 80% of humanity wiped out. Shawn Speakman fist-pumps.

12:00 PM, December 21, 2012 - Picnic between world leaders & aliens. Punch is served.

August 1, 2013 - Gradual terraforming of Earth into a desert planet. Oceans begin to be sucked dry by a massive "celestial straw" extending from alien mothership to planet.

September 1, 2013 - Shai'Halud ("sand worm") eggs are planted into the expanding deserts of Earth.

September 15-25, 2013 - George Martin attends Worldcon.

July 10, 2015 - George Martin nearing death.

July 15, 2015 - George Martin's body hauled by Hippo and Shawn Speakman to the Mojave Desert. The process of merging George Martin's mind into the body of an immortal sand worm is started.

July 4, 2016 - Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum fuck over the alien mothership. Speakman and Ran die in the process, having sided with the aliens. Humans regain supremacy and stop desert planet terraforming, but not before 65% of the earth is covered with desert.

12:00 PM April 1, 2020 - George R. R. Martin completes A Dance With Dragons and due to his immortality and immense sand worm body, is declared God-emperor of D...I mean, Earth.

12:01 PM April 1, 2020 - Slynt punches a hole in his wall.

A GLIMPSE INTO THE HORRIBLE FUTURE (1)
lori
loripetty
A GLIMPSE INTO THE HORRIBLE FUTURE....

(an alternate timeline in which George has complete control over the TV series)

------------------

THE GAME GOES ON... AND ON... AND ON

The problem with doing these updates is that each of them is an attempt to predict the future, and if there's one thing that I have proved beyond a doubt these last few years, it's that I'm very bad at predicting the future, especially when my own work is concerned. I suppose I incline too much toward optimism.

My last formal update on the HBO A GAME OF THRONES series was dated February 15, 2010.

If that seems like a long time ago to you, join the queue. It seems like forever and a day to me. When I wrote that update, I was sick of writing updates. So I tried to make that last update the final update, and ended it by saying, "The next update will be the one that announces that the GAME is ready to air."

Like all my other predictions about this series, however, that one turned out to be wrong. Ten-and-a-half months have passed, the series is still not filmed, and lately my mailbox has started filling up once again with readers pointing out that my last update is ah, quite old. So in the spirit of the holiday season, I decided, well, I can't give them GAME, but I suppose I can give them a new update and a new teaser trailer.

The new teaser you'll find on the Ice & Fire / Sample page of the website. For most of the past year, I've been rotating the shot of the trees with...well, the other shot of the trees on that page, changing back and forth every few months. By now, I fear, many of you have probably committed those two forests to memory, so I'm adding a third wheel to the rotation, and giving you a taste of Sean Bean saying "winter is coming" and then chuckling as well. I hope you will enjoy it. And if you missed the woods and/or the foliage, have no fear, both of them will be back up again in the months to come. I only offer one sample at a time, but my webmaster and I do try to change them out regularly.

As for the update part of the update... well, what can I say? The series's still not done.

Last February, when I wrote the previous update, my intent was to finish filming A GAME OF THRONES by the summer, so I could take off for the worldcon in Australia with a clear conscience, and follow it with a book tour through several other Asian countries. Obviously that didn't happen. I ended up canceling the whole Asian tour and missing worldcon for the first time since 1985, so I could stay on the set, focus on filming, and make an all-out effort to finish it by the end of 2010. Unfortunately, that didn't happen either.

It is now 2011. I'm still working. There are no short cuts. It's a scene at a time, a line at a time, a word at a time. I'm further along than I was, but not as far as I would like. During the last year, we had some good days (and months), some bad days (and months), and some days (and months) that I thought were good that turned out to be bad, especially on account of that whole scandal with Maisie Williams's pastries getting stolen. The show is getting longer, and more importantly, the show is getting better. I've changed my mind about some of the things I said in earlier updates and on my Live Journal, and I reserve the right to change my mind again, though I am hoping I won't have to. Believe me, no one wants to air this show more than me.

Sorry, I won't give you chapter and verse about the details of what I've been doing and undoing. I've never liked to talk much about a work-in-progress. Too much can and does change. Seeing as how I made you wait so long between updates, however, I'll throw out one small teaser, and mention I'm adding some footage from the point of view of one of the characters featured in the first lot of Ice & Fire miniatures from Dark Sword, a character who has never had a POV in any of the books.

This summer I am scheduled to travel to Spain to speak at Semana Negra in Gijon, make some appearances in Madrid and Barcelona, and then head over to Portugal to visit with my publishers and readers there. I want to have A GAME OF THRONES, season 1 done and delivered before I leave. If that happens, the show will likely air in Fall of 2011 in the U.S, and somewhat later in the U.K. I am pleased with the way the filming is going at the moment, and I think these projections are realistic ones... but as you all know, I've been wrong before. So I am not swearing any blood oaths here.

I probably won't update this page again for quite a long while, so let me close by saying once again that when A GAME OF THRONES is ready to air, I will post that news here. The moment I finish the book, I will log on and make the announcement. You guys will be the third ones to know, right after Parris and HBO.

Until then, let me suggest that you check out TUF VOYAGING 2: SON OF TUF, the new SF novel I "wrote" with Daniel Abraham and Gardner Dozois, and INSTRUCTION CARDS WILD, the first volume in our (by that, I mean "their." I didn't actually contribute anything) new Wild Cards triad from Tor. They are not A Song of Ice and Fire, true, but I'm very proud of them both and I think a lot of you might enjoy them, or at the very least, say that you do enjoy them in the hopes that I will become friends with you. Both books will be on sale in January in hardcover. And if it's more epic fantasy that you're yearning for, there's never been more good fantasies being published than there are right now. Except Speakman's novel. Don't bother. You'll be glad you didn't.

Meanwhile, I'll keep working.

-George R.R. Martin, January 1, 2011

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